The Science of Gifting: Why Giving Feels So Good

It turns out that science is on the side of gift-givers. From psychology studies to brain imaging research, there’s solid evidence that the act of giving doesn’t just make others happy, it actually lights up our own brains, provided we don’t let stress take away the joy of the occasion, according to Emiliana Simon-Thomas, PhD, science director at the Greater Good Science Center.

Think back to your own memories of gifting: remember that rush of joy when you handed over a present and saw the smile it sparked? Chances are, that feeling stayed with you longer than the gift did.

Take one of my own recent experiences. My cousin loves the Rabbitohs, and so I got him a Rabbitohs jersey, along with some socks (since nearly all of his had holes in them) and a new ring to add to his collection, and watching him tear open the gift box was unforgettable as I saw such happiness on his face. His excitement was contagious, and I couldn’t help but feel a wave of glee myself. That moment of giving didn’t just make him smile, it made me feel giggly, energised and already thinking about how I could top this next Christmas.

So lately I've been thinking, why does giving a gift trigger such a positive response in the brain, that makes us want to do it again? Biologically, it’s fascinating. Even when the act of gifting comes at a personal cost (time, effort, and/or money) the reward centers of our brain light up. Scientists have long wondered why humans across every culture invest in giving. Why willingly part with something valuable if we could just keep it for ourselves?

Research provides some compelling answers. Studies from Harvard Business School and the University of British Columbia found that people experience more happiness when they give than when they receive. For instance, employees who used part of their bonuses for charitable donations reported sustained increases in happiness compared to those who kept the money for themselves. Another study asked people who unexpectedly came into money to recall a previous act of gift-giving. Those who did were not only happier in the moment but also more likely to spend some of their windfall on gifts for others. In other words, one generous act can spark another.

These same researchers conducted another experiment which shows that both giving and receiving activate reward centers in the brain feuled by dopamine, the chemical that makes us feel pleasure. But giving comes with a bonus: a region of the brain linked to social connection and bonding (the subgenual area), lights up only when we give. “Oftentimes, people refer to it as the ‘warm glow,’ this intrinsic delight in doing something for someone else,” said Simon-Thomas, “But part of the uniqueness of the reward activation around gift-giving compared to something like receiving an award or winning money is that because it is social it also activates pathways in the brain that release oxytocin, which is a neuropeptide that signals trust, safety, and connection. It’s often referred to as the ‘cuddle hormone.’”

So the bottom line is, giving strengthens our relationships, making us feel closer to the people we care about. We need to give, not just for others, but for ourselves. Giving gifts is biologically wired to make us feel good, to deepen our bonds and social connection, to stay humble and to create a ripple of happiness that comes back to us in surprising ways. 

Yet in today’s busy world, finding the perfect gift isn’t always easy. "Gift-giving can also be seen as just one more thing on your to-do list during a very busy time, which can take much of the joy out of the gift-giving experience", Simon-Thomas said. Between balancing work, family, and daily life, we don’t always have the time or energy to come up with thoughtful ideas. That’s where services that simplify gifting can be a real lifesaver and help us keep the joy of giving alive, without the stress. Because when we make it easy to give, we get to enjoy all the happiness that comes with it.